Mentoring: The power of relationship - Heroes and Friends
Photo Credit: Johnny Torrey
In the Bible, the Old Testament records the story of King Hezekiah. Hezekiah was a righteous king who led the people of Judah in the worship of the one and true God. His son Manasseh followed him as king but Manasseh led the people of Judah down the opposite road. He led them down a path of idol worship.
Manasseh reigned for 55 years. Most of that time, he led people away from God instead of towards Him. Toward the end of his reign, God allowed him to be captured by the Assyrians and taken captive into Babylon. While there, Manasseh repented and turned to God for help and salvation. God, in His mercy restored Manasseh as king of Judah. Manasseh then led the people in the worship of God. He destroyed many of the idols that had caused Israel to sin but he was not able to undo all of the damage he had done.
Manasseh was succeeded by his son Amon. Even though Amon would have had a front row seat to view the reforms and the repentance of his father, he chose to pattern his life after all the wrong things his father had done. The result was that Amon did not last long as king and was assassinated by his own officials.
Due to Amon's assassination, his son Josiah became king at an early age - 8 years old. He deliberately and intentionally chose to ignore the evil example of his father and instead conformed to the example of integrity and love for God that king David had shown. The result was that Josiah spent two years purifying the land of Judah by destroying every last remnant of idol worship. His public example of repentance and purification caused the people of Israel to follow in his footsteps. His actions ultimately delayed the pending punishment of sin that God had planned.
What do we learn from all this? How does it apply to our life? Most men end up becoming much like their fathers. Most women end up marrying a man who behaves just like their father. If you grew up without a father, you inevitably thought at some time that things would have been better if you had a father to teach you. You are positive that your life would have been better if he had been around. If you grew up with an alcoholic or abusive father you might have thought the opposite. Most likely, you probably turned out exactly like him - the footsteps you hoped to follow in or the man you swore that you would never become.
The truth is this. It doesn't matter who our father was. Their influence, or lack of influence, may have shaped us into the man that we became but we became who we are because of a deeper reason. The clue to this secret is found in the life of Josiah. He deliberately chose the example of king David instead of his father Amon. As a result of patterning his life after a righteous man, he ultimately became a righteous man. The key here is the "Heroes and Friends" factor. The people we chose to emulate in our life will determine who we will be. If we hang around friends that are shady, we will end up becoming shady. If we determine that the most influential man in our life is our father, we will become just like our father.
Colossians 3:2 tells us to "think on the things of heaven, not the things of earth". It is a matter of perspective. When we have something we focus on, then we will gravitate toward that goal. Obstacles in our way will not deter us or cause us to go off course. In Lord of the Rings, Frodo's goal was the mountain. That is what he was focused on. That is where his eyes continually went. Without that mountain in his sights, every time he came across a hill, ravine, river, tree bush or rock, his destination would have changed because his focus would have changed and his eyes would not have been on the goal. The heroes and friends in our life are our mountain. They are what we are focused on and their character will help determine the person that we are becoming.
Take a minute today and list the 3 most influential people in your life. These are your heroes - the people who hold your thoughts and your heart. Now list your top 5 friends.
Now assess each of these relationships in your life. Did you have trouble finding positive things to list? Are the qualities of your heroes and friends something that you really want to surround yourself with? Do you need to make some changes to the relationships you include in your life?
If you feel that you need to change some things, you have a couple of options. First, you could cut those relationships out of your life altogether. This might be difficult but it may be the best solution. Second, you can go to that person and talk about what you discovered. They may not like what they hear. They might react by counter attacking you and your weaknesses.
If you have decided that the people in your life contain the qualities that you desire to possess, congratulations! They might appreciate hearing it. Invite them to meet for coffee and tell them why you value their friendship and their relationship so much.
Regardless of what you decide, there is one relationship in your life that you cannot cut away. If you don't have it already, you need to seek it. It is a relationship with Jesus Christ. Just as Frodo had his mountain to keep him focused on his goal, we need Christ as ours. Jesus is the hero that we should strive to become - if you don't know how, find a Bible believing church in your area and talk to the pastor. I may not know that pastor personally but I know he would be happy to introduce you to the greatest hero of all - Jesus Christ.
Manasseh reigned for 55 years. Most of that time, he led people away from God instead of towards Him. Toward the end of his reign, God allowed him to be captured by the Assyrians and taken captive into Babylon. While there, Manasseh repented and turned to God for help and salvation. God, in His mercy restored Manasseh as king of Judah. Manasseh then led the people in the worship of God. He destroyed many of the idols that had caused Israel to sin but he was not able to undo all of the damage he had done.
Manasseh was succeeded by his son Amon. Even though Amon would have had a front row seat to view the reforms and the repentance of his father, he chose to pattern his life after all the wrong things his father had done. The result was that Amon did not last long as king and was assassinated by his own officials.
Due to Amon's assassination, his son Josiah became king at an early age - 8 years old. He deliberately and intentionally chose to ignore the evil example of his father and instead conformed to the example of integrity and love for God that king David had shown. The result was that Josiah spent two years purifying the land of Judah by destroying every last remnant of idol worship. His public example of repentance and purification caused the people of Israel to follow in his footsteps. His actions ultimately delayed the pending punishment of sin that God had planned.
What do we learn from all this? How does it apply to our life? Most men end up becoming much like their fathers. Most women end up marrying a man who behaves just like their father. If you grew up without a father, you inevitably thought at some time that things would have been better if you had a father to teach you. You are positive that your life would have been better if he had been around. If you grew up with an alcoholic or abusive father you might have thought the opposite. Most likely, you probably turned out exactly like him - the footsteps you hoped to follow in or the man you swore that you would never become.
The truth is this. It doesn't matter who our father was. Their influence, or lack of influence, may have shaped us into the man that we became but we became who we are because of a deeper reason. The clue to this secret is found in the life of Josiah. He deliberately chose the example of king David instead of his father Amon. As a result of patterning his life after a righteous man, he ultimately became a righteous man. The key here is the "Heroes and Friends" factor. The people we chose to emulate in our life will determine who we will be. If we hang around friends that are shady, we will end up becoming shady. If we determine that the most influential man in our life is our father, we will become just like our father.
Colossians 3:2 tells us to "think on the things of heaven, not the things of earth". It is a matter of perspective. When we have something we focus on, then we will gravitate toward that goal. Obstacles in our way will not deter us or cause us to go off course. In Lord of the Rings, Frodo's goal was the mountain. That is what he was focused on. That is where his eyes continually went. Without that mountain in his sights, every time he came across a hill, ravine, river, tree bush or rock, his destination would have changed because his focus would have changed and his eyes would not have been on the goal. The heroes and friends in our life are our mountain. They are what we are focused on and their character will help determine the person that we are becoming.
Take a minute today and list the 3 most influential people in your life. These are your heroes - the people who hold your thoughts and your heart. Now list your top 5 friends.
- Next to each of these 8 people, use a single word to sum up their character.
- Now use a single word to list the quality you admire most about them.
- Next, in 5 words or less, list their biggest fault.
- Finally, there is a reason we include these people in our lives. it is because we know that we can depend on them to be there for us. In one sentence, list the one thing that you know you can always depend on them for.
Now assess each of these relationships in your life. Did you have trouble finding positive things to list? Are the qualities of your heroes and friends something that you really want to surround yourself with? Do you need to make some changes to the relationships you include in your life?
If you feel that you need to change some things, you have a couple of options. First, you could cut those relationships out of your life altogether. This might be difficult but it may be the best solution. Second, you can go to that person and talk about what you discovered. They may not like what they hear. They might react by counter attacking you and your weaknesses.
If you have decided that the people in your life contain the qualities that you desire to possess, congratulations! They might appreciate hearing it. Invite them to meet for coffee and tell them why you value their friendship and their relationship so much.
Regardless of what you decide, there is one relationship in your life that you cannot cut away. If you don't have it already, you need to seek it. It is a relationship with Jesus Christ. Just as Frodo had his mountain to keep him focused on his goal, we need Christ as ours. Jesus is the hero that we should strive to become - if you don't know how, find a Bible believing church in your area and talk to the pastor. I may not know that pastor personally but I know he would be happy to introduce you to the greatest hero of all - Jesus Christ.
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Recently, a young 12 year old boy had the courage to go head to head against the icon of golfing, Tiger Woods. Note the response of both the father and Tiger Woods in the video.
Tiger gives the boy an opportunity to shine not just once, but twice. "We've got to see that again." This is the kind of positive reinforcement that fathers and mentors alike need to be providing to the young men of the next generation. "Good job." How many of our children have never heard this kind of encouragement from anyone? They desperately need to hear it. "I was amazed at what was going on. I was proud of him." Dads and mentors, don't assume that your boy knows how you feel. You need to say the words. "I don't really think I beat him, but..." The boy appears to have none of the arrogant pride or false humility that most people would expect from the results of this situation. What a valuable character trait that this father has been able to instill in this boy. "Good stuff. I'm proud of you." Mentors, it's one thing to have mom or dad tell you how proud they are but look at the weight of the same statement when it comes from Tiger Woods. Guys, it doesn't matter that we are not Tiger Woods, the encouragement that we can give to a young man can have just as much value. Dad - Kudos! Tiger - Kudos! Thanks for the practical encouragement that this story gives to dads and mentors. |
A couple of young men who show why fathers and mentors are needed so much. One knows the void in his life, the other one does not.
Resources: Inspirational movies you should see
As mentors, we can have tremendous impact on the lives of young men and women. Rent the movie "Mr. Holland's Opus" to see how big that impact can be. Click here for some lessons we as mentors can learn from that movie.
Men, if you have not got the message yet, the message is this - boys need your influence in their lives. Please get involved in mentoring somewhere. Even if you have kids of your own, there are boys in their life that could use your presence. Check out this short clip from Darryl Strawberry about his childhood and the needs that no one knew about!
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Bosses vs. Leaders
Self analysis is an integral part of becoming an effective leader. As fathers and mentors we should be instilling the skill of leadership in the lives of the young men and women we influence. But what exactly are the qualities of a leader and how can you distinguish between just being a boss and the true definition of leadership? Fred Smith as some great advice. Check it out here.
Fathers as mentors
When fathers take the time to be involved in their kids lives, their kids gain the confidence to do some pretty amazing stuff. The video on the right was done by one such teen.
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Mentors and Integrity
Fri Sep 03 06:48am PDT
What would you do: teen golfer disqualifies self, gives up medal By Jay Busbee
Follow Jay Busbee on Twitter at @jaybusbee.
Golf is a game of rules both obvious and arcane, and if you're going to play the game, you have to play by its rules. No matter what the cost.
Today, a classic "what would you do?" moment. Zach Nash is a 14-year-old Wisconsin kid who happens to be a fine golfer. So good, in fact, that he won a junior Wisconsin PGA tournament.
Problem was, he won it by violating -- albeit unintentionally -- one of golf's most straightforward rules. He had too many clubs in his bag. And the worst part? It was a total accident, discovered long after the fact.
Specifics: Nash's 77 won the boys' 13-14 division at the Milwaukee County Parks Tour Invitational, knocking off 31 other players. Afterward, Nash went to celebrate with one of his mentors, Chris Wood, head club pro at Rivermoor Golf Club. And that's where the troubles began.
Wood noticed an extra club in Nash's bag and pointed it out to him. Apparently, a friend of Nash's had left the club at his house, and Nash put it in his bag, not realizing it put him one over the mandatory limit of 14 clubs. Carrying an extra club is a two-stroke penalty per hole, but since Nash didn't account for those extra strokes, he signed what was, in effect, an incorrect scorecard, and thus would be disqualified from the tournament.
And from there, there really wasn't any choice. Nash called the Wisconsin PGA, explained what had happened, and sent back the medal from the tournament. WPGA officials plan to present it to the tournament's runner-up.
Now, it's easy to go and tee off -- pun very much intended -- on golf's drop-the-hammer rules, on Wood for bringing the extra club to Nash's attention, or to Nash himself for failing to count the club. But all that misses the point. This is a story about honesty and doing what's right, even when what's right makes zero logical sense. Sure, Nash could have rationalized away keeping an extra club, but where's the honor in that?
Congrats to Nash for standing up and doing the right thing, no matter what the cost. And hopefully there are much bigger medals waiting for him down the line.
Here is the link to the original article.
What would you do: teen golfer disqualifies self, gives up medal By Jay Busbee
Follow Jay Busbee on Twitter at @jaybusbee.
Golf is a game of rules both obvious and arcane, and if you're going to play the game, you have to play by its rules. No matter what the cost.
Today, a classic "what would you do?" moment. Zach Nash is a 14-year-old Wisconsin kid who happens to be a fine golfer. So good, in fact, that he won a junior Wisconsin PGA tournament.
Problem was, he won it by violating -- albeit unintentionally -- one of golf's most straightforward rules. He had too many clubs in his bag. And the worst part? It was a total accident, discovered long after the fact.
Specifics: Nash's 77 won the boys' 13-14 division at the Milwaukee County Parks Tour Invitational, knocking off 31 other players. Afterward, Nash went to celebrate with one of his mentors, Chris Wood, head club pro at Rivermoor Golf Club. And that's where the troubles began.
Wood noticed an extra club in Nash's bag and pointed it out to him. Apparently, a friend of Nash's had left the club at his house, and Nash put it in his bag, not realizing it put him one over the mandatory limit of 14 clubs. Carrying an extra club is a two-stroke penalty per hole, but since Nash didn't account for those extra strokes, he signed what was, in effect, an incorrect scorecard, and thus would be disqualified from the tournament.
And from there, there really wasn't any choice. Nash called the Wisconsin PGA, explained what had happened, and sent back the medal from the tournament. WPGA officials plan to present it to the tournament's runner-up.
Now, it's easy to go and tee off -- pun very much intended -- on golf's drop-the-hammer rules, on Wood for bringing the extra club to Nash's attention, or to Nash himself for failing to count the club. But all that misses the point. This is a story about honesty and doing what's right, even when what's right makes zero logical sense. Sure, Nash could have rationalized away keeping an extra club, but where's the honor in that?
Congrats to Nash for standing up and doing the right thing, no matter what the cost. And hopefully there are much bigger medals waiting for him down the line.
Here is the link to the original article.
Coach Dungy talks about the need for role models and mentors.
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Knowledge @ Wharton High School
This is a great website to inspire youth. It offers a great learning center as well as advice for young entrepreneurs and leaders. Click here to check it out.
Real life example of the benefits of mentoring
God sets divine appointments every single day. Are you prepared to recognize them when they appear? This touching story reminds us of the difference that mentors can make in the lives of young boys and girls. Boston Bob could have forgotten about the brief encounter he had with a family that was about to make a life changing decision, but he didn't.
He got involved. The rest they say... is history. Are you willing to go the extra mile?
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