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Sharing the pain of divorce

8/29/2009

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I haven't shared anything on this page in a few days and I must say that I am disappointed.  The goal was to blog 3 times a week.  As I was praying after my daily reading this morning, my heart was heavy for those people close to me that are going through the pain of a divorce right now.  I wish I could turn off the pain.  Having experienced it myself, I know how difficult it is.  People try to console or encourage you but even though they may have gone through a similar situation, you never feel like they really understand what you are dealing with.  So how do you reach out to those that are suffering?  Dealing with a Christian is one thing because the assumption is that you are both standing on Gods Word and the promises and commands contained in its pages.  But how do you reach out to a non-Christian?  How do you get them to understand that this is not what God intended?  They feel abandoned by everyone, including God so how can you get them to understand that God hates divorce just as much as we do?  How can you tell them that "all things work together for good, for those that love God, that are called according to His purpose" when they don't love God?  How do you console a Christian brother whose wife, professing to be a Christian, goes so completely against God's command and serves him with divorce papers?  How do you stand firm in your own life when the loneliness becomes overwhelming?  I don't have all the answers.  So I continue praying.  I reach out to those hurting when I can.  I share my story - how God took the shattered pieces of my life and made something beautiful from them. 
For those of you that read this, for those of you hurting, I do have this advice...
  • Accept Christ as your savior.  He is the only thing that can carry you through the pain.  He is the only person that can get you to the other side still in one piece.  Just as you spent time developing a relationship with your spouse over the years, develop a relationship with Him.  Because He is the one that will never disappoint you, He is the one that will never leave you.  You may not believe that now, you may not trust Him now, but as you get to know Him better, you will discover the truth.  He can and will support you through any circumstance.  Without this step, nothing else will help.  Nothing else will bring true healing.  It will only be as effective as applying a band-aid to an amputated arm.
  • Spend time every day reading the Bible.  All the answers are contained there. 
  • Pray every day.  God already knows your heart.  Don't be afraid to blast Him with every raw feeling and emotion.  You don't have to hold back with Him - He can take it.  Share your needs, pain, hurts, joy, feelings and desires with Him. 
  • Fellowship with other Christians.  There is a reason why gangs are so popular among the youth of today.  Sometimes it is the only place they gain acceptance and strength.  For Christians, the bond that we share is so much greater than the pale imitation of strength that a gang offers.  Daniel and his three friends experienced the power of Christian fellowship and the results were fire that did not burn and hungry lions that fasted.  When you have 2 or 3 Christian brothers or sisters that you can share your struggle with and search the Scripture for answers together, then you have a priceless gift that nothing on earth can match.
  • Serve somewhere.  All day long we take from others, we absorb things like a sponge.  Eventually that sponge gets too full and must be wrung out before it becomes useful again.  Think of the needs of others.  Do you know someone without a car?  Offer to be their taxi service, take them for groceries, bring them to church.  There are thousands of ways we can help other people.  Start looking for those opportunities.  When you put others first, you will see a dramatic increase in the quality of your own life.  As I experienced the first few months of my divorce I had a friend that kept me busy painting their house.  I can sit here and tell you honestly that if I wasn't helping them, I would not stbe here today.
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    I start every day by digging into Gods Word.  I try to journal what I learn so that I can remember it and apply His principles to my daily life.  I challenge you to do the same.

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